I've been getting extremely self-conscious, whether it be my acne that comes every now and then, or my height. Lately I've been very conscious about my personality, and how people see me. I realize that I don't talk to people, and that people don't really talk to me. Here at school, I am an outsider. I have been an outsider since school began. I guess that isn't a bad thing. Why would I want to be like those other people? All they do is get drunk and knocked-up. Why should I envy that?
Dominic was calling me fat today. I know he might be just joking around, but it made me feel even more self-conscious. Maybe I really am fat. Have I looked in a mirror lately? I mean, I know I don't work out too much for volleyball, but...I don't know. Maybe I should just take a break from eating for a little while. I did it before, I can do it again.
I want to look good for my boyfriend. I know that our relationship isn't based on looks, at all, but...I still want to look good. I can tell he tries to look good for me. I need to try. I'm going to try.
No comments:
Post a Comment