I can't breathe

This last month was wonderful. I had someone to talk to every minute of the day and to call "Sweetheart". But I had to let him go, and everything has gone back to the way it was before. Pointless, and lonely.

I didn't want to come back to this person. I wanted to keep feeling happy, and glowy, and like everything will turn out just fine, but I don't feel like that anymore. I feel like...my heart has stopped. Like the world has ended. Like I will never remember how to breathe again.

My mother, always blaming my depression and pitiful state as a side-effect from the different meds I take, even if it really isn't a side-effect. It's as if she can't accept that I'm like this because something is really wrong with me. She has to blame it on the drugs, because that can be fixed. I can't be fixed. "Quick quick, take the meds away. Then my baby will be all better." She's good at lying to herself.

So where do I go from here? I don't know how to fix this. I don't know how to breathe. I can't breathe....