Sometimes I wonder how I'm going to get through my next school year. I barely made it last year. I have a feeling that this is going to be my last summer. I know that sounds really pathetic and sad, but that's the truth. Probably. I'll have to wait and see.
Vacation Bible School was this past week. I really loved it. I found that I love kids more than I thought. I led the really little ones from class to class, and always had one cradled in my arms or sitting in my lap. But the week ended and now I am missing them so much already. I didn't even get to say goodbye....
I found out that I have a reader, and I hope it doesn't mean I'll be shy when I write in my blog. I don't want to feel like I have to watch what I say. But I don't think I should worry about it. Just let my mind drift and my heart talk, right? ;-)
My diary is almost all filled up. I've had it for about 14 weeks. It didn't turn out as I had hoped it would. It was given to me to write about happiness and light and God's love. But most entries came out as a cry for help. I turned it into crap. Same as I turn everything else in to. And when it's all filled up, what then? Will I continue writing notebooks full of depressing thoughts or will I just stop writing and see if I explode? Because it's not like he's going to give me another diary to ruin......
I keep having nightmares. Last night I had one that I was on a ship that was burning. I was choking on smoke and I remember being on fire and screaming. It hurt so much. How is that possible? That I feel pain from something that is only happening in my mind? I wake up from these nightmares more exhausted than when I went to bed. I actually felt more awake when I stayed up all night.
I'm scared of falling asleep. I wonder what tonight's nightmare will be. I hope I wake up in a cold sweat before the nightmare gets too graphic.....
I just watched a movie called The Young Victoria. That's why I put that picture up at the top, in case you wondering. There was a man in it called Prince Albert. He was handsome and respectful and he could play the piano beautifully.
Vacation Bible School was this past week. I really loved it. I found that I love kids more than I thought. I led the really little ones from class to class, and always had one cradled in my arms or sitting in my lap. But the week ended and now I am missing them so much already. I didn't even get to say goodbye....
I found out that I have a reader, and I hope it doesn't mean I'll be shy when I write in my blog. I don't want to feel like I have to watch what I say. But I don't think I should worry about it. Just let my mind drift and my heart talk, right? ;-)
My diary is almost all filled up. I've had it for about 14 weeks. It didn't turn out as I had hoped it would. It was given to me to write about happiness and light and God's love. But most entries came out as a cry for help. I turned it into crap. Same as I turn everything else in to. And when it's all filled up, what then? Will I continue writing notebooks full of depressing thoughts or will I just stop writing and see if I explode? Because it's not like he's going to give me another diary to ruin......
I keep having nightmares. Last night I had one that I was on a ship that was burning. I was choking on smoke and I remember being on fire and screaming. It hurt so much. How is that possible? That I feel pain from something that is only happening in my mind? I wake up from these nightmares more exhausted than when I went to bed. I actually felt more awake when I stayed up all night.
I'm scared of falling asleep. I wonder what tonight's nightmare will be. I hope I wake up in a cold sweat before the nightmare gets too graphic.....
I just watched a movie called The Young Victoria. That's why I put that picture up at the top, in case you wondering. There was a man in it called Prince Albert. He was handsome and respectful and he could play the piano beautifully.
I've decided to rename my piano to Prince Albert.
So....well, I think that's all I have to say.
So....well, I think that's all I have to say.
No comments:
Post a Comment